Sure

You won’t

I was impressionable
a drunk child high off of scent of melodies in toxic waste
the head rushed
it was warm and cozy
on the couch at paul’s bar

struggling juggling fugging up and waking
Nefertiti showed me what light there was
because I told her to quit with the overwhelming thoughts of a terrible finish, that the sadness in her eyes would go away because we are all one big giant pool of love that would never die, that we are all god and we all have the possibilities laid out in front of us, you choose, you choose, you choose, or go back to bed, I knew what to say as we walked down north street in stained shirts arms around each other’s necks. . . she asked me how I knew, and i said I just did. . .
the beginning
the quad
eating cardboard
I sat by the window
and thought that i knew it all

The music was shaking my bones without reason
It was after me, It had entered and seemed to be reviving
gunning for some goal
shooting from the hips
around and up they went
biting at my neck

Now I’m waiting on a train to come
What I’m gonna do?

You know what I felt like doing
In this moment
right before i sat down to type something
I thought i wouldn’t finish
right after you read your words
of dreams and romantic demons
I felt like punching bricks in the cold
I felt like throwing my computer on the floor
I felt like ripping down posters
I felt like smashing a banjo
and kicking out the window
screaming
this is MINE
I WANT THIS
I WANT WHERE?
I WANT THERE
I want here
for now
and not a moment later

Visions of her dance
Visions of her sleep in my corner of the room
on the floor
near the window

nude
arguing about reality
education
naked
about quotes
flesh and grazing fingers
about you and me and futures uncared for
sex
silence
sweat
reading aloud our breathing
panting
moaning

time blurs
and we are back
let’s go back to space
where just
me
and
you
exist

she is moving my fingers
showing me the way
back home
to all of her

it’ll be more than i could imagine
I may jump out of my skin finally

yawn, jerk off, yawn
you can’t tell em anything
they do not care
nor do they need to care
they are lost and so are we
we just put our sails up and found our own place
in the sea

buddy
i couldn’t give you a piece of mind If I needed to
but you inspired this dragging of pens and fingers across keyboards
I won’t give you any thank you’s and I won’t repent my regrets anymore
I’ll burn them like words in fire on paper with wood from my old tribes in mind

missing
shirts
off
riding bikes
with dogs barking
red faced and breathing
outside in the light of distance
inside thoughts of nothing but
and savannah, my drug of choice,
pumping her tires
before our rides
to uptown circle
answering every question

I swear she knew the words to my songs before i played them

I need silence
I want to walk out and feel everything ready to pull me in
healthy young man tall and strong
never been in a fight in his life
thinking he needs one
pumping all he knows and all he knows is honest bullshit
that comes from love

Friends, I am love, I am love
I am something
preach somewhere else, not in my ear
heard it, arranged it, figured it out
misplaced it
figured it out again
and still i am not the wiser

helplessness nesting in my corner of the room
on the floor
near the window

Quit it Alex.

Shut the fuck up and quit it.

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